Live from the Meeting Zone

Meeting

Just read a bit of science fiction online. Or perhaps it’s fantasy.

Definition of a ‘meeting’ from businessdictionary.com. Y’know, I figured that a site with the word ‘business’ in it would have some semblance of reality, but… Oh yeah, I think I know the root of the problem. It’s because the word ‘business’ is in the site name. That’s exactly the problem.

At any rate, I looked up the definition of ‘meeting’ on this site and here’s what it has — Formal or informal deliberative assembly of individuals called to debate certain issues and problems, and to take decisions.

Now, after finished snorting my coffee out my nose, and caught my breath, the first question came to mind. The definition talks about a meeting being a place where we can debate issues and problems. Okay, stop laughing, you guys. What if the problem we need to debate is the fact the meeting keeps getting cancelled?

Had two times that happened today. All because, apparently, everyone can’t play in the same sandbox without first having to whack someone else on the head with his or her little plastic shovel. All this started me down that rabbit hole of….

What if I made a movie about a meeting? Hmm….

You’ve been invited to a meeting you have no prior knowledge of, by a manager you never heard of, concerning a non-existent project, and you get to the room where it’s supposed to be held. Room #13. The lights are off. You’re the only one there. And…. there’s no coffee and no donuts. Noooo! You’ve just entered… The Meeting Zone. Possible titles: Night of the Living Meetings, Curse of the Meetings, The Meetings that Time Forgot, The Meeting that Never Was.

I just had another thought (it happens occasionally). I think meetings would go better if you took a monkey. Or send the monkey in your place. I know, I know, animal cruelty, but hey! They have to see they’re not the only ones in captivity.

Here’s a fun meeting activity I’m going to try next time I go to a meeting that’s actually held (that’s called fantasy). At some random point, perhaps when things are at their most hectic and confusing, I’ll bang my fist on the table and shout, “What I want to know is, who’s going to handle the Colossus Project? The deadline’s approaching, you know.” Then, I’ll gather all my stuff, jump up, and run for the door, mumbling, “Man, I’m already late for that one.”

‘til next time… Adios.

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2 Responses to Live from the Meeting Zone

  1. So true, it’s sad. Most meetings are a waste of time because there is no one in charge, the one in charge does not have the skills, there are no rules in place that allow everyone to provide feedback/opinions and then whittle them down to several to vote on, the one in charge cannot make a decision and the buck never stops, or some high up wants the meeting and wants you to do such and such and then it’s done and you never hear about it again, the ideas/results are never used. Waste of our lives…meetings.

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